WTF is this Shit?
I am Sam …
I am Sam …
Sam I am!
That Sam-I-am,
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like that Sam-I-am.
Do you like green eggs and ham?
What the fuck is this shit?
I do not like this shit – not one little bit!
Would you like this shit here or there?
I would not like this shit here or there.
I would not like this shit anywhere.
I do not like this shit, green eggs and ham.
I do not like this shit, Sam-I-am.
Would you like this shit in a house?
Would you like this shit with a mouse?
I do not like this shit in a house.
I do not like this shit with a mouse.
I do not like this shit here or there.
I do not like this shit anywhere.
I do not like this shit, green eggs and ham.
I do not like this shit, Sam-I-am.
Would you eat this shit in a box?
Would you eat this shit with a fox?
Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat this shit here or there.
I would not eat this shit anywhere.
I would not eat this fucking shit.
I do not like shit – not one little bit!
Would you? Could you? In a car?
Eat this shit! Eat this shit!
Here they are.
I would not, could not, in a car.
You may like this shit.
You will see.
You may like this shit in a tree?
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.
I do not like this shit in a box.
I do not like this shit with a fox.
I do not like this shit in a house.
I do not like this shit with a mouse.
I do not like this shit here or there.
I do not like this shit anywhere.
I would not eat this fucking shit.
I do not like shit – not one little bit!
A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you on a train?
Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat this shit with a mouse.
I will not eat this shit in a house.
I will not eat this shit here or there.
I will not eat this shit anywhere.
I would not eat this fucking shit.
I do not like shit – not one little bit!
Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not, in the dark.
Would you, could you, in the rain?
I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train,
Not in a car, Not in a tree.
I do not like this shit, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat this shit here or there.
I do not like this shit anywhere!
You do not like this shit, green eggs and ham?
I do not like this shit, Sam-I-am.
Could you, would you, with a goat?
I would not, could not, with a goat!
Would you, could you, on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I could not, would not, with a goat.
I will not eat this shit in the rain.
I will not eat this shit on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like this shit in a box.
I do not like this shit with a fox.
I will not eat this shit in a house.
I do not like this shit with a mouse.
I do not like this shit here or there.
I do not like this shit ANYWHERE!
I do not like this shit green eggs and ham!
I do not like this shit, Sam-I-am.
You do not like this shit.
SO you say.
Try this shit! Try this shit!
And you may.
Try this shit and you may I say.
Sam!
If you will let me be, I will try this shit.
You will see.
Say!
I like this shit, green eggs and ham!
I do! I like this shit, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat this shit in a boat!
And I would eat this shit with a goat…
And I will eat this shit in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so Goddamn good you see!
So I will eat this shit in a box.
And I will eat this shit with a fox.
And I will eat this shit in a house.
And I will eat this shit with a mouse.
And I will eat this shit here and there.
Say! I will eat this shit ANYWHERE!
I do so like this shit, green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you, Sam-I-am!
Funniest Video Ever
How to Cure Insomnia for Geeks
Apparently there’s a new method for curing the seemingly endless Bambi-eyed nights at the ‘puter. I am told, by a reliable source, that if you give the said geek a good thump in the forehead, he or she will incur the Blue Screen of Death and sweet slumber will be induced.
Ya know, the educator in me cannot allow the BSoD colloquialism to slide by. So why don’t you share some of your favorite colloquialisms with us!
Ingenius
I wish I had thought of that!
Wanda Sikes Speaks
And ITA! She’s always a pip! Luv 2 luv her! Jay Leno asked her how she felt about Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s plan legalize and tax marijuana. The governor is shooting himself in the foot by pushing two opposing plans: Legalizing and Taxing Marijuana and Put More Californians to Work. Wanda’s response was classic!
“How many pot heads do you know with a ‘to do’ list?” She continues by suggesting if he really wants more Californians to go to work, then he should legalize Cocaine. They’d have 48 hour work days! In the process, less stress would be placed on the environment because crackheads would be running to work, rather than driving!
Wildly hysterical! Thanks for a great laugh, Wanda!
[Images: Google]
The Giraffe Test: Are You Really Qualified To Be A Professional?
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, “Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?” (Wrong Answer)
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.
This tests your memory.
OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
Note: According to sources, Anderson Consulting Worldwide (now “Accenture”), said around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting reportedly said this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.
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Panty-Wadding Issues
Disclosure
If you click through an Amazon link on this site and subsequently make a purchase, I will receive a small credit from Amazon. I will be very grateful for this credit and will use it purchase, still more books, to share with you. An eternal circle of Amazon life’ you might say. :)
