Reflection
One of the concepts that I like the most about education is the reflection process. It one of those universal tools. I went home to try to put some distance between myself and my current situation (i.e. a marriage that is at best, floundering; at worst, downright torturous).
I came into a lot of clarity about what I wanted once I was able to put the situation into perspective. I decided that I needed to follow through with the separation, do whatever I needed to do in order to keep my boys in the private school, realign my financial situation (i.e. improve my credit), continue with the teaching gig, and then perhaps purchase a 2 bedroom condo on the beach.
And then the unthinkable happened. My ex-husband, whom I have not seen in 19 years, decides to apologize for hurting me so long ago. It was the most sincere and heartfelt apology I have ever received. And in the midst of it all, an instantaneous hazing over of my previously cleared head.
So now that I am back at home, I must embark upon another self-reflection. What should I do that will maintain my integrity and sense of purpose? The day-to-day rhthym of life is interfering once again. I have decided to go on a ‘fast’. It’s not the typical fast in which calories are not consumed. Rather, it is known as the Orange Juice Diet/Fast.
Organic oranges provide enough of the nutrients needed forto maintain cellular production. Cells are cleansed and given a good dose of energy in the form of minerals. I will consume approximately 4 organic oragnes (juiced) at *a,, 10am, noon, 2pm, 4pm, and 6pm. I will follow each ‘meal’ with brushing my teeth and then 6-8 oz. of water.
I will document my progress here each day to include physical symptoms, emotional awarenss, energy, and clarity of mind.
Independence or Dependence?
“True independence of character empowers us to act rather than be acted upon. It frees us from our dependence on circumstances and other people and is a worthy, liberating goal.” ~ Stephen Covey
Today I learned that I must make the effort to schedule and prioritize my life, rather than scheduling life around circumstances and people. I can visualize what I should be doing and it makes complete sense.
I think I have been trained by the military to respond when you are summoned. Therefore, this mentality has seeped its way into the crevices of *my* life.
In order to grow from this experience, and move from dependence to independence and onward to interdependence, I must begin to do what I know is right. Tonight, I will make a concerted effort to schedule my life. Everything else will have to fill in wherever there is space.
This reminds me of a little experiment I did with the primary children at church called, Making Room for What’s Important:
Materials:
- Jar – represents the amount of time we have available for one week.
- Rocks – represent the important things that must be tended to in our lives.
- Pebbles – represent little tasks that could add up to some sort of significance, but not usually.
- Sand – represents “twaddle”
- Water – amount of time to sleep
You must put these items in the jar in a particular order for them to all fit. Mix up the order and not everything will fit. And so it goes with our priorities in life. We must insure we do the big things first. If we do, the small things fit in fine… What are these?
- Values or Life Purpose
- Weekly goals that coincide with my life purpose
- External events that I have no control over
- *Me Time*
- Pebbles in life
As I move through the week, my intention is to move from dependence upon life’s events to independence ~ living my life on purpose.
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